The Count: War Games
by BadgerLeopard
Summary: The Count suddenly gets drawn into a major conspiracy when he receives a letter from an old friend: who are the Yakavin? And what connection do they have with Gallifrey?
1. Episode 1 - Chasing Spies

**Chasing Spies**

_Good evening from my humble abode near the human town of Whitby. I have another set of adventures to impart upon you and it all began with a letter._

_It was from an old fisherman called Barnabas Wilson who I met multiple times before this story, mainly because I needed some spare parts from the junkyard he runs. You see, I've been mainly focusing on two things since we last met: I've been building a shield around my house to ward off any extraterrestrial beings and I've been adding to my TARDIS, to prevent the Time Lords from making me do any of their dirty work. Because I've had enough of being their weapon. Their slave. Their servant. I have the right to explore the universe and do as I will._

_Anyway, back to the letter. Barnabas wrote of a large grey capsule arriving in his junkyard with a thud (and yes, that is what he wrote). I initially believed this to be an alien escape pod but then, when I learnt that a person called Tresvan had emerged from the capsule looking for me, I realised that the capsule was actually a TARDIS. Damn.  
__I put down the letter immediately, went out of the house, locked the front door and entered my TARDIS. _

_Inside the TARDIS, I set the co-ordinates for the planet Perservirus, enlarged the dematerialisation shield to encompass my house and then dematerialised. And as soon as I did so, the image of an old lady dressed in Gallifreyan robes appeared on the screen.  
__"Count," she said, "my name is Cardinal Ollistra of Gallifrey and on behalf of Rassilon himself, we need your help."  
__"I'm not your pawn, Ollistra. I will not help."~  
__"Count, we are able to reel your TARDIS in to Gallifrey and force you to work for us. Listen or we'll make you listen."  
__"I'm not sure about that."  
__Ollistra then turned to her left and mumbled something to a guard, who went off to, presumably, reel me in. This proved to be unsuccessful, as he came in a few moments later with a grumpy look on his face.  
__"Count, what have you done?"  
__"I've been busy, Ollistra. There's a scrapyard near to where I live in Whitby and I've been working to stop you using me to do your dirty work. I'm a free man and you can't do anything about it."  
__I then turned off the message and materialised the TARDIS on Perservirus, a planet known for being habitable yet utterly lifeless. Not even on a bacterial scale._

_I stepped outside and smiled at my new home: it was a purple desert with high sand dunes and an emerald green sky. I new that this would be perfect, so I went back inside and reduced the dematerialisation field to encompass just my TARDIS. And then I set off to investigate something else that Barnabas had mentioned: he had heard Tresvan say something about 'strange anomalies in the Drydex System'.  
__I wonder what those are._

_My TARDIS was drawn to Jethrat, a small little world that had been ravaged by the Time War for many centuries now. Honestly, I'm a pacifist however I'm a pacifist who knows that the Time War can't be stopped easily. That's the honest truth.  
__I stepped out onto a world made of grey rock and rubble, caused by constant Dalek attacks. I heard cries of exterminate come from everywhere around me and, up ahead, I saw humanoid figures that glowed bright blue fighting against Daleks.  
__I wonder who they are._

_I took out my sonic screwdriver and scanned the blue humans to find that they were Time Lords, caught in a time bubble. I deduced that it must have been generated by a TARDIS and headed off in the direction that my sonic screwdriver indicated._

_The screwdriver led me to a large wooden cupboard which was emitting waves of blue light. I took out my laser screwdriver and shot out the lock and went inside._

_Inside the TARDIS was a tall brown-haired woman wearing a brown tweed suit and carrying a laser screwdriver in her hand.  
__"Hello Count," she greeted me, "I am Lysindra, one of the Brotherhood of the Elder. I have come to this world to wipe every Time Lord soldier that has ever set foot here. If you try and stop me, because I am aware that Gallifrey has sent you, then I will kill you."  
__"I wasn't sent by Gallifrey."  
__I fired my laser screwdriver at the time rotor, causing the TARDIS to dematerialise and leave Jethrat.  
__Lysindra then lunged towards me, laser screwdriver in hand, anger coursing through her veins.  
__"Why did you do that you idiot?!" she screamed at me, "You have only made things worse!"  
__"And how have I done that?"  
__"You have brought one of the universe's deadliest forces into the Time Vortex - the Yakavin are free to travel through time and space!"_

_The Yakavin, blue specks of light, raced through the Time Vortex and wailed as they headed towards their intended destination: Gallifrey..._

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Episode 2 - Crisis on Gallifrey

**Crisis on Gallifrey**

_Now wasn't that cliffhanger exciting? I do like a shocking ending. Especially when I have something to do with it. That's when it's perfect.  
__Where was I then? Ah yes: Lysindra's TARDIS._

_The Yakavin were heading towards Gallifrey and Lysindra was being a little bit reluctant to land on Gallifrey. So I zapped her several times with my sonic screwdriver and feasted on her. Admittedly she did taste a little bit green, like one of those Earth green teas, but she was still edible.  
__I then piloted the TARDIS towards Gallifrey and landed there._

_Commander Lyvil greeted me as I emerged from Lysindra's TARDIS.  
__"Count," Lyvil asked, "why exactly have you suddenly returned to Gallifrey?"  
__"That is a long story. Allow me to save you the time and just do this."  
__I killed him, feasted on him and took his staser, ready to combat the Yakavin._

_I found seven Yakavin soldiers down the next corridor, possessing Gallifreyan soldiers and pointing their blaster rifles at me.  
__**"DO NOT SHOOT HIM."**__ the lead Yakavin soldier commanded, __**"HE IS THE ONE WHO SET US FREE."  
**__"Listen, guys," I reasoned, "I want to make something clear. I didn't intend to set you free and let you get to Gallifrey so could you all go away?"  
__**"NO. THIS IS OUR PLANET. THIS IS OUR WORLD. OUR HOME. THE WAR TOOK US AND THEY USED US TO TRY AND WIN THE WAR."  
**__"Who are 'they'?"  
__**"YOU DO NOT KNOW? YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW CRUEL THEY ARE. HOW DESPERATE THEY ARE TO SURVIVE."  
**__"Who are you talking about?"  
__But before I could figure out who 'they' were, the Yakavin vanished and I heard the sound of the approaching Chancellery Guard. Deciding that I shouldn't be seen after devouring the blood of another Chancellery Guard a few moments before, I dashed towards the TARDIS bays, mainly because I had an idea._

_I entered a used battle TARDIS and dematerialised it. I then activated a signal that would draw in the Yakavin entities so that I could lead them to somewhere quiet. And plus, I wanted to get my TARDIS back.  
__The Yakavin appeared a few moments later, manifesting themselves as a tall young man with a goatee in the console room.  
__**"WHY DID YOU SUMMON US?"**__ he asked, his voice sounding like many different voices at once.  
__"I wanted to protect Gallifrey from you. You were clearly going to harm my people and I won't let that happen." I answered, being honest.  
__**"THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE YOU DO NOT KNOW. THERE IS A SECRET THAT WILL SHATTER EVERY TIME LORD HEART AND IT WILL SOON BE UNEARTHED."  
**__I decided, before they could say any more, to materialise the TARDIS at the centre of Vintrealia, a hollow planet with a crust as thick as azbantium. I then let the Yakavin free and then dematerialised the TARDIS and set course for Jethrat._

_I managed to find my TARDIS on Jethrat however I found that a set of co-ordinates had been stuck onto the front of it. I entered my ship and inputted the co-ordinates and found that they led to Earth, 2017.  
__I dematerialised my TARDIS and prepared to investigate this new mystery._


	3. Episode 3 - All Roads Lead to Earth

**All Roads Lead to Earth**

_Back to Earth then. I hoped that I would arrive in Whitby but that was not the case: I arrived, instead, in a graveyard in London. It was rather ominous that my TARDIS actually landed inside a grave, thankfully it wasn't fully buried though, so I managed to scrabble out and dematerialise my TARDIS using my sonic screwdriver. It's currently flying through the time vortex meaning that a lot of stress is removed._

_My sonic screwdriver then, strangely, picked up a signal coming from a nearby hearse. Obviously I wondered what that was. So I investigated it and found a young woman sitting in the back of it, surrounded by scientific equipment.  
__"Hello there." I said in my most charming voice. Because I do like a lady.  
__"Hi." she replied, taking out a gun and aiming it at me, "Get in or I shoot."  
__I got in. The hearse drove off.  
__"I am Jemini Weslake and I am the leader of the Modern Counter-Measures Group." the scary woman explained, "I've read your files, Count, and these bullets are lined with Allethium. Do you know what that is?"  
__"Yes. It's what kills vampires." I answered correctly.  
__"Correct. You're to wear these handcuffs as well, so that I can punish you if you try anything."  
__She then strapped a pair of handcuffs to me, as if I was some sort of beast.  
__"Why are you doing all of this, Jemini?"  
__"Because we need your help."_

_Jemini informed me that a series of mysterious signals had been detected recently and that they were not believed to have originated from Earth. According to her, the signals were a series of broadcasts, aimed at a certain group of people. There had been rumours of an alien community that had settled on Earth some time ago and this community lay among humanity, ready to properly invade when given the command.  
__Oh dear.  
__"And I can help because..." I said, leaving the sentence open.  
__"You're a Time Lord and your lot have a history of helping us out with inexplicable problems."  
__"Do we?"  
__She stared at me with eyes that had seen a lot in life and for a moment I felt sorry for her. But then I returned to being my normal self._

_We stopped just outside a red telephone box that was glowing blue which made me remember the Yakavin. Had they escaped to Earth?  
__My worst fears were confirmed when, a moment later, a blue ghostly figure emerged from the telephone box and smiled at me. He then signalled for me to come out and I did, obviously, as Jemini wasn't around._

_I led him to St. James Park and sat down on a bench next to him.  
__**"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET?"**__ the Yakavin warrior asked me.  
__"Yes. You do seem affected by something so please tell me."  
__He parted the robe covering his chest to reveal something I was not expecting: it was a Gallifreyan seal.  
__The Yakavin are Time Lords.  
__Now you weren't expecting that, were you?_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Episode 4 - The Truth Revealed

**The Truth Revealed**

_The truth has been revealed in the most unlikely of places. The Yakavin are Time Lords and they've been cast aside by their people. So I decided that it was time to rise up. Because I was also used as a weapon and then cast aside.  
__And I have had enough._

_I led the Yakavin to my TARDIS and left for Gallifrey. Because I planned to take the fight to them. And it may be that in other stories you may see other Time Lords try and save Gallifrey from evil.  
__A pity they don't know about me._

_I arrived on Gallifrey, took out my laser screwdriver and left my TARDIS, the Yakavin warrior at my side. Outside, I noticed that some Chancellery Guard members were stood outside my TARDIS, so I shot them all with my laser screwdriver. And then feasted on them.  
__Why not? I had food at my disposal.  
__I headed for the President's office._

_I arrived at the President's office, laser screwdriver in hand, and opened the door to find Rassilon, who was not expecting to see me. I shot him several times in rage and then walked over to him.  
__"This is how it feels like." I roared at him, "You used the Yakavin, your own people, as a weapon in a pointless war and you tried to use me as a weapon to win a pointless fight. And that is not right!"  
__I shot him several times more.  
__"Learn your lesson. And understand that how you treat your own race is more important than your survival." I raged at him, before walking back to my TARDIS._

_I let the Yakavin take Gallifrey, especially after what I found out about them, and returned to my home, now on the planet Perservirus. I hope that my people learn about what is ethical and what is corrupt, but if they still do not understand, then I will happily teach them.  
__In blood._

**THE END**


End file.
